I wrote this a few days ago mid meltdown (see my post over on facebook to hear all about it!)

In December 2014, 12 months after being diagnosed with Stage 4 Melanoma, a terminal prognosis, I wrote about my struggle with living life in limbo. I had gone from meeting with palliative care in January 2014 and planning my death, to December when I was responding to treatment and feeling well. Yes, I still had terminal cancer, but I was faced with the potential of this new immunotherapy treatment extending my life by years.

My husband and I had spent months ‘living in the moment’. Serge stopped working to spend as much time as possible with me. We got married. We went on holidays together. We just enjoyed our time together as much as we possibly could.

A few weeks ago, I shared on my Dear Melanoma Facebook page that I had made an appointment to go and see one of the psychologists at the Cancer Council office in Brisbane. I shared this piece of very personal information because I wanted other people to know that I am not this crazy strong young woman that you might think I am from reading my blog or interacting with me online. And, although my treatment is going well, I still struggle with living every day knowing that my time is short. I needed to see a psychologist to have a good cry to and work out how I am going to navigate life with a terminal diagnosis.
When asked by the psychologist at my first session what I wanted help with, I told her that I was struggling with balancing living each day like its my last and living a life where I look forward and plan for the future… but a short future. I needed to know how to navigate a life in limbo